did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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