im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn victory sex feels great
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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