Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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