I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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