True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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