I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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