cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize