so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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