we have officially lost it.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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