i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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