sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize