I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize