I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
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What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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