It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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