God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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