Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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