worst night to have a conscience
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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