We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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