so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize