god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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