how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
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A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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