So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize