I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize