they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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