I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
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To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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