You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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