I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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