I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
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I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
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thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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