So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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