Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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