I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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