I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
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I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize