It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize