guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize