i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize