I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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