I wish my penis had an off switch
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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