No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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