She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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