someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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