Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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