I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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