Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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