Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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