remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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