Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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