ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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