I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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