Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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