I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize